Tuesday, December 6, 2011

FLASH GARDEN (FLASH GORDON – SINDHI VERSION)


The 26/11 Mumbai attack anniversary that went by was, for a change, a rather joyous and relieving occasion this year. Joyous because of a bunch of people performing as a flash mob at the CST station, and relieving because the song on which they performed was not 'Kolaveri Di'

(Is it just me, or does this totally remind you of the 'Jai Ho' video from Slumdog?)

When I first heard Kolaveri, I found it overrated. I found it overrated when I heard it for the fifty first time also. The thing is, just because a song is catchy doesn't mean it will stay for a really long period. Melodious songs stay long. Catchy songs have a very little shelf life. And even the item song Jalebi Bai is catchy for that matter. Don't believe me? Just listen to that song in the morning once, and tell me at night what went on and on in your head the whole day. The Kolaveri song in fact has already become as irritating for me as that ‘There are unused icons on your desktop’ bubble that keeps popping up in the task bar.

I remember in school, during examinations, if you ever chanced upon hearing a song right before your paper, then getting it out of your head throughout the exam would be a bigger challenge than passing the exam. And I used to use this thing in a very impish, sadistic way.

Almost 90% of my scoring in each exam could be dedicated to the final hour preparation. In fact, when the teacher used to say 'Start studying now, don't wait for the eleventh hour; you won't be able to finish it,' the little kalpak, dressed in red, with a fork and thorns, sitting on my left shoulder used to say 'Challenge Accepted!' The white fellow on the right used to be too lazy to oppose him.

But then again, I would never study in the final five-ten minutes before the paper, because every damn question you read in those final moments, you always feel that you have forgotten the answer. And hence, to spend time in these final minutes, I used to go up to my frantically revising friends, and used to sing the crappiest songs in their face. The curses I used to receive after the paper were orgasmic. And why wouldn’t it be, after all I HAD fucked their case.

Now a flash mob has been defined as a group of people meeting at a predetermined place, performing a choreographed event, and quickly dispersing. Every day in my office has been defined similarly.

Watching that flash mob on CST made me wish I was present there when it happened. That way I would have had a chance to check out the chicks in the mob in a better way. But then, as Geeta says, whatever happens happens for the best. (Geeta was one of the chicks in that mob) Had I been there, the over-enthu me would have joined the performance when it was in the initial stages, dancing like those men in Zingaro beer ads, only to later realize that it's a preplanned choreographed event. Maybe I have to start thinking in retrospection on why I never get laid.

But such events are great fun. I would love to be a part of one of these someday, maybe the one sponsored by Zingaro. And such activities are better expenditures of time for today's youth than something stupid like Farmville, a game that I believe should be played less on Facebook and more on Anil Kapoor's chest.

Before this flash mob happened, I never knew what a flash mob is. So if someone would tell me that there was a flash mob on CST station, without showing me the video, I would imagine that a gang of girls were going around lifting up their t shirts. Well that surely would have been a better flash mob. But then that would have been less known as a flash mob, and more as ‘Girls Gone Wild – CST Party!’

On a separate note, a delegate of a Japanese firm had visited my company recently. After the factory visit, he wanted to see the Baroda Maharaja’s Palace (nothing metaphorical in this). And since I was comparatively less occupied with work that day, my colleagues suggested I go along with him. I wasn’t too up for it, but someone from the International Marketing team had to go. The thought of all the racist jokes I would crack on him in the car cheered me up, but sadly he didn’t have time for the Palace visit and had to leave for his flight.

When we found out a Japanese guy is coming to visit, we all Googled various Japanese greetings. One of their most common greeting upon meeting is ‘Konnichiwa’, which also translates to ‘Good Afternoon’. When your common greeting means the same as Good Afternoon, it shows till how late you people sleep.

Good evening for them is ‘Konbanwa’. I thought I would play a prank. When he would come, while others would bend down and say ‘Konnichiwa’, I would bend down and say ‘Kun Faya Kun’. But then, for the sake of my firm’s repute, I stuck to Konnichiwa.

I guess I better end my post here, before I get a call from Kapil Sibbal asking me to censor content on my blog.

*bowing down* Kun Faya Kun.


P.S.: R.I.P Dev Saab.


P.P.S.: Hats off to each person directly and indirectly involved in the Flash Mob. A truly commendable work.

19 comments:

  1. hey great piece...I've been following ur blog for months now but commenting for the first time..your posts always make me laugh..keep blogging :)
    p.s -yes, it reminds me of 'Jai Ho' video too..

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  2. i love flash mobs..
    i want to be a part of it someday..
    maybe choreograph one someday..sighhh
    the song is a very strong one you know..and it always evokes those senti feelings within me..

    hmmmmmmmm...saale u used to bug me before the final few minutes of the exam...grrrrrrr

    hahahaa..kun faya kun it seems..
    naaaiiiceee post jaanemannnn :P:P:P

    cheers !!!

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  3. Over-rated or otherwise, the damn song in everyfuckingwhere-_- there is no place online or in the media I can go where I can NOT hear some reference to the damn song for 15 minutes :@

    LOL @ Farmville, good connection re:P

    :D Incidentally, I thought the same thing (shirt-lifting part) when I heard about flash mobs! I knew about the NY impromptu dancers but I didn't know they were called that.

    P.S: I'm going to become extremely nitpicky and I know you're going to go all 'stupid woman' at me but Sibal has only one 'b':P

    And yes, thank you.
    Kun Faya Kun is going to be my official greeting from now. Lets see how many people I can fool with my authentic enactment of Japanese greetings :D

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  4. I never studied for exams and I passed everything. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. True story.

    I'm glad that there was a flash mob cheering people up.

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  5. Okay!Kolaveri is overrated, that we know! :P
    And, jalebi bai is a catchy song! The best part is where Daler Mehndi sings *jalebi baaiii* :P
    And, main batau, what I thought of flash mob, when I heard of it?
    I thought people are meeting at night, in a blackout, just to use their flashlights on mobiles! Yes! *grins sheepishly*
    And I still do that, singing the crappiest song to my friends just 5 mins before the exam! :D :D
    And, girls gone wild?! Seriously? *typical-huh expression*
    Super post! :D
    And Kun Faya Kun *bows down* :P

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  6. Jalebi Bai (the song, not Mallika Sherawat) has been stuck in my head ever since I heard it. :/ Even the introductory tune.
    And seriously, if you hear a song before going in for an exam, rest assured that it won't get out of your head for the entire three hours!

    Kun faya kun to you too! (with a very authentic nasal twang)

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  7. Yep the Mumbai Flash mob was truly commendable, it took like a month of perseverance and cooperation from several quarters to pull that off. It's nothing as authentic as those that happen in NYC but still it was a great attempt. And yes the video did remind of Jai ho also. People who saw this video before me told me that the girl who started of the dance reminded them of me so I got curious to go see what the hype was all about!

    You know it was just not difficult to imagine the little Kalpak with the oversized horns and the little thing,,,ahem the tail. Added with the evil drin it is just how I picture you everyday :P...I'll be your partner for the zingaro ad OK buddy, forget that not.

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  8. but i like Jalebi Bai...:(
    and kolaveri di is great for a few hearings-i can't imagine 51 times though...you do need to go in retrospection for why you don't get laid? give me details and I might provide you with valuable inputs too!

    and what you thought about mob flash and the girls with their tees up and flashing, was the thought that crossed my mind too-thanks for the enlightenment...not about such flashes but of the knowledge that i think like you and probably would also never get laid soon then!

    and that Geeta gal must be so thrilled to hear her mention in this illustrated space in such a way:-)

    and only you can jump from a flash to a Kun faya:-)
    so much fun commenting on this space coz i don't have to bother about capitals-sab apne aap capital letters mein aa jaate hain-Kalpak magic?:-)

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  9. You are so stupid, it's damn funny! :P And I doubt you have a little kalpak in white with angel wings sitting on your shoulder. :D

    And your assumption of "flash mob" was way better than mine. Since I had always associated "mob" with an angry crowd, I thought flash mob meant people coming together and setting fire to something. :D

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  10. The flash mobs here in Malaysia is unchoreographed and happens so spontaneously that you won't know what hit you. Actually the last part was true, I got whacked in the nose by an overtly enthusiastic dancer. Anyway, the whole point was it is spontaneous and everyone joins. Every freaking one, from your local dadi to the little kid who is trying to walk for the first time

    Ok that last bit wasn't entirely true, but you get the drift yeah?? Kolaveri IS overrated but please please watch the parody of it on Hitler's "Downfall". It's so hilarious that I've bookmarked it.

    It's the only thing that's getting me through the day now. I have a psycho tailor who stalks me and won't return my cloths.

    Jesus. This is like a mini post. Sorry! Love your blog dude!

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  11. Kolaveri - catchy song yea, overrated well yea, Rajni's son in law is quite chai-wala to get all this attention !
    Flash mob at Mumbai was great .. chk out others like T mobile N Frozen Grand Central !!

    Good Post ..loved de office -flash mob analogy there :)

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  12. Who studies btw? But we still manage to pass. Aren't we genius or something?

    I loved the flash mob. And thanks again for the poem Kalpak!

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  13. AIWA(remember the old aiwa ads) and get a mac dude ;) nice post

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  14. First of all.. I am slapping my recovering from the epic fall BUTT-CHEEK for not reading this as soonas it got posted.
    You know what I love about ur blog? You always manage to brighten a very crappy day or mood. Kolvaeri Di is really overrated and u know I hate it all the more because it is being played even at my GYM...and I hate it more coz I end up singing it as I am running on the threadmill. I hate it!and the red Kalpak with fork and thorns...hehehehe CHALLENGE ACCEPTED..CUTE HAI JEE!!
    I am the last minute padne wali bacchi too. The worst part is, I cant mug up so I write down utter GAS. The singing flop song by u to ruin ur frnds test paper. EPIC! i am gonna try it out too!
    GIRLS GONE WILD-CST PARTY!! hahahahah are I thought tht it might be some homeless man flashign his thing and scaring women...u know they are called FLASHER. So cant blame me!!
    and anil kapoors chest hair..haha FARMVILLE! khi khi khi khi khi khi!!!
    I bow to thee my lord..KUN FAYA KUN!!HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

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  15. hehehe! the red kalpak is definitely a dude! And 'kun faya kun' ? That was pure genius!!

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  16. Dude! You are GOOD, really GOOOOOD :)

    These days, I have been either forced to skim through the post, or not read or give it a miss because of all the nonsense that I had to read out of obligation. I am glad, I am here! Such a relief.

    I find kolaveri di over rarted too. In fact most of the people find it over rated and yet there is so much of it's di-d-idi!

    Once, I think in tenth standard, I was not prepared for my maths exam, nothing new, but something odd happened. Bolo-tara-rara was stuck in my head :-/ Somehow, my exam went well because of the chirpy song stuck in a corner, guess what :| I tried singing it all the time while taking the exam...sigh...the effect faded eventually.

    Cheers to a fun post!

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  17. Yes. I regret the fact that I was at CST just 2 hours b4 the flash mob happened.

    And I've been a part of a flash mob before, and so i knew what that is. But that was in a mall and to celebrate an event and no1 was allowed 2 video-tape it :-/

    anyway.
    The video doesnt remind us of Jai ho, no.
    I cant stand the Kolaveri Di song
    and goodluck for the Zingaro ad item number :P

    kun Faaya kun!

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  18. I watched the CST flashmob. It was good, simple and neat. Oh, and by the way. They have this thing called, Freeze flash mob. Where everyone would freeze in their positions for 5 minutes or so! Did it once in my university ;)

    Your pieces are fun to read! Keep em' coming :)

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  19. how do u manage to include so much in a post that I have to memorise what all I have to write after i am done with the post .. :D

    first up , whats with the flash gordon , sindhi version ? :O just couldn;t get it !
    next, kolaveri di is awesome... ya a bit overrated!
    but its the simpleness of the song that does wonder...
    I also had the same, 'Challenge accepted' sorta rxn when teachers used to tell me to not wait till the end to study. studying in the eleventh hour has beeen working well for me till now, except for a time or few :)

    all in all , a nice and humorous read :)

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