Sunday, November 20, 2011

THE MOTHER OF ALL GUEST POSTS (a.k.a. WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING?!) PART 3


Ah! The relieving final wall of the pauper. I’m so sure most of the contributors will read just their own paras and what I have written about them and go away, bloody.

11) Dragon (Not skinny anymore, she’s hot!):

This girl tells me she has titanium balls. She means it metaphorically, referring to her courage. But I normally take it literally and ask her to show me.
Priyanka Shetty (I call her Pinku now) is one person you must know. She is bold, courageous, independent and great fun.
I have in these years made quite a few online friends, and based on my experiences I had developed certain beliefs, which she proved wrong. Whenever I met someone online and we established a comfort zone in chatting, then talking on the phone would be little awkward. And the most awkward would be the first meet. But when pinku and me moved to the phone, it wasn’t even a bit awkward. Our first conversation we spoke for more than an hour straight. I actually felt I have called up a radio station. She later confirmed she had been an RJ for 3 months.
She has two sets of voices. One is her day voice, the typical RJ one. It makes you want to request her to play a song for you. And second is her night voice; the sexy-cum-cute angelic voice with a subtle south accent.
I’m really lucky to have found such a special friend in her. Love you Pinku.
Presenting the guest post by Dragon:
(It’s a brilliantly written Fibonacci Sonnet)
HE
HE came
HE came back
HE came back to me
HE came back to me like a mirage
HE came back to me like a mirage, transient and distant
HE came back to me like a mirage, transient and distant, wishing he had never left.

Wishing he had never left, transient and distant, like a mirage he came back to ME.
Transient and distant, like a mirage he came back to ME
Like a mirage he came back to ME
He came back to ME
Back to ME
To ME
ME


Honestly, when I had first landed on Chandana’s blog long back, I was like ‘Whoa this is so girly. I’m definitely not following this’.
And then she sent me this guest contribution of hers. Chandana, you have unknowingly slapped me hard on my face for judging your blog, with your guest post.
This guest post is undoubtedly one of the funniest I have received, and it is worth a read.
And once again, I’m genuinely sorry for skipping to mention you in the list.
 Presenting the guest contribution by Chandana:
A walk to remember – its NOT a love story

Morning walks in my colony are so peaceful and also very amusing. Peaceful because it is a completely residential colony i.e no shops of any kind allowed, and lots and lots of greenery around. Amusing because of the kind of people you meet while walking. Right from retired army generals to youngsters jogging with earphones plugged in, women in sarees and walking shoes to girls in shorts and tank tops. If its your (un)lucky day you might just discover a whole new species.

1) The walking-talking-yoga doing-uncles -
One moment you find them walking at a normal, brisk pace but the next moment they stop under a tree, start dancing on one leg, and start performing their 'aasanas'. All they need is a little bit of clear space and you'll find them in various stages and positions of errr... yoga and meditation. Now, the various remixes they come up with might a good way of exercising but that doesn't stop me from bursting into laughter.

2) The windmills - 
These are people you'd want to maintain some distance from. Literally! They walk/jog and at the same time keep flapping their arms around which is their so called 'exercise'. And frankly they either look like a fish thrashing about in the water or a half-crazed man running on the streets. There was this one time when I was trying to cut in front of a man while jogging when, out of nowhere his arm shoots out almost hitting me in the face! Remember. Five feet distance. Minimum.

3) The singers - 
They have their earphones glued on to their ears, volume at its max, singing away to glory oblivious to everyone around them. Not once could I make out the tune/song/lyrics - nothing. They have the most horrible voices but they don't give a damn. Lost in their own world, this is one kind that I am secretly envious of. I can never sing-away like that in public.

4) The human chains - 
This hyper annoying category mostly comprises of housewives. They finish their morning chores, don their best saree, their (fake) reebok walking shoes and start on their morning walk. They all either meet at one place or have their own walking route where they 'collect' each member from their respective houses. For reasons unknown to anyone they all have to walk in a horizontal line covering three fourths of the road. They gossip about everything under the sun in their loud voices, right from how their kaam-wali is demanding money to how their kids watch tv all day. They walk at an agonizingly slow pace, and you try your best to find a gap suitable for you to squeeze through their unbreakable chain and cut in front of them. That results in you zig-zagging behind them for a while until you go to the other side of the road and cut in front. But no amount of tch-tching from your side nor exasperated looks are going to make them realize they are blocking half the road.

5) The dog chasers - 
They spend half their time running behind their dog, which is in turn running behind other dogs or worse  - behind people. They keep up a continuous stream of "No boy!" "Heel!" "Stop!" "No! Come here!" hoping it would obey. As if. *eye-roll*. No points for guessing who is having who on a leash. 

6) The perfume bottles and the stinky socks - 
The moment they walk past you, you wonder if they've drowned themselves in a pool of perfume. .Is there such a shortage of water that they need to use ten perfume bottles? The smell is so strong that you start choking as soon as they pass by you. The other extreme are the ones who stink like they haven't bathed for years. I am not sure if they have ever seen a bar of soap in their life.

7)The forever walkers -
Whether you go for a walk at 6:00am in the morning or at 9:00am, you will find them walking. Even if you are dragging your feet home at 7:00pm after a long day at work, they'll be there - walking and walking and walking. Is that the only thing they do all day? Eat, walk, eat, walk? There are some walkers, whom I've seen in my eighth grade when walking to tuition, who are walking even today. Come hell or high water, their walking routine has never changed. Nor has their weight either, by the looks of it!

8) The sane ones -
That's us. The rest of us. The ones who pinch our noses and walk faster, the ones who slow down to avoid the mad dog-chaser and their dog, the ones who take a short cut to avoid the human chains, the ones who look down and try not to giggle at the singers, the ones who share a secret smile of understanding at all the madness around them!



This girl here is the jack of all trades of the blogging world. Knowing her is like having a strong, influential contact.
She manages Darlings of Penis, has couple of her own blogs, writes regular book reviews in A Lot Of Pages, and in spite of this is almost all the time online on FB.
Her guest post is a very interesting piece on humor.
Presenting the guest contribution by Maithili Bhatnagar:
And humor makes us human..

  I just realised that tomorrow is the last date to write for Kalpak's blog else I lose out on the 'chance' *winks*. Kalpak don't get flattered, chance here means- to feature on your blog and hopefully get a few more followers at my slow moving blog One Such Story. For those who don't already follow me- it's a place where I write fiction with a hint of reality. Life hasn't been very dramatic for me so I obviously don't bore my readers with what I had for lunch and how it got out..khi khi khi I just figured it was a dig at Kalpak.(the latter part that is lest  you decide to delete my para which is now promising to turn into a post). So now that I have advertised my blog ( yea yea I know that's what guest posts are for apart from the lazy owner of the blog) I think I should flatter the owner a bit so that I appease his secret admirers. So what are you doing here? Follow me right away!! 
  Apart from all the Darwinian evolution and stuff, one thing that makes humans unique is their ability to laugh. I heard somewhere that apart from humans only hynas can laugh and only dolphins have sex for pleasure( okay latter part was just to show off). Yet how often do you laugh? From that "OMG I m later" moment in the morning when you wake up to "Oh damn, its so darn late and I m tired" at night, how many times do you take time to laugh? Do you surprise people with a smile when they expect you to frown? Have you ever laughed at your mistakes rather than defending it till you feel the mistake was actually right? Have you seen a baby laugh when he falls while he is still learning to stand and wondered if you can do the same when you fall? More importantly do you have the humor to laugh for and at yourself? I know, I know we are no jokers but somewhere in the long chain of evolution we have forgotten to laugh. 
  I have always felt that humor blogs get more followers than others. Laughter shows get more TRPS than soap drama. We all need that dose of laughter. That reason to laugh. These people effortlessly make us do that. We laugh like idiots on jokes aimed at us at these blogs and shows. We nod our heads to the endless observations made by them. What makes them so funny? Yes you guessed it- observation. If only you could take in a little more of what is happening around you, you have what you want-humor.. There is humor in the way we behave, to the way we think, to the way we walk, to the way we evolve and to everything that makes us human.. So why bother with things that you don't see but make you worry? Why not observe things that you can see and laugh? 
  Won't you surprise someone today with humor instead of cold stares or nagging? I did it today and I know I averted a lot of negativity.. Try it and keep smiling people.. You never know if the 2012 thing is going to turn true! Ah that reminds me I have a lot to do before the world ends- like give my exams (yeah I can't believe they won't even give us a year to live!!) So off I go..
   Pheww looks like I got a thing for turning nothing into a post.. And stupid me was wondering what and how I will write a para.. I think I have got it in me to start a humor blog soon.. no, no jo saare blogs chaalu kiye hai unko toh sambhaal lu :P :P


Miss Khushboo Wadhwani. The name makes you imagine a heavily decked up Sindhi aunty with a fat ass. But Khushboo isn’t like that. She is not heavily decked up.
She’s a cute little blogger, who’s not even 18 yet, and still writes as if that is what she was meant to do. Her style of writing is very fresh, and her humor is good too. There’s this post of hers where she has described an incident when she fell off her scooty and was taken to the doctor. I even now sometimes imagine the things she told that doctor and laugh out loud.
She again is one of the few bloggers I would really like to meet someday. Besides she is geographically accessible too.
Presenting the guest contribution by Paanipuri Lover:
(I was laughing for five minutes on the description written under the images)
Exams and me!
So, this Kalpak is a mad guy, I tell you! My end semester exams are going to start and BAM, he wants a guest post paragraph. Okay, since my exasm are going on, I’ll tell you things abouyt me and exams! No, not the normal ones, but something weird! Here it goes:
During exams, my room becomes like a 10th cenury ko kaal kothri . All the magazines, comics, novels, pamphlets, newspapers, etc are robbed, just to make me study! I’m this lazy when it comes to studying! All such readable material is dumped into a chest and is locked, with a lock, which is so large that it may make one think, “why will anyone use this lock?”…! And, mouse and keyboard are detached from the computer and kept under supervision, laptop is packed in its case and shifted to office, and TV ke remote ki batteries are taken and cable wire is taken and locked away! Now you know what a lazy-ass I am! Also, scissors are taken away from my room as well! Why scissors, you may ask! I’ll tell you why. I have this sickness/problem/mental defect. I notice all the split ends in my hair, just during my exam days. And I hate split ends. Baalon ki bhai-baap kar deta hai. So, when I was in 10th, my mum, saw me cutting the end of my hair, that too selectively. Jahan split end dikha, kenchi chala di! And, from that day onwards, even scissors are robbed! And my hair is oiled so badly, that you may start thinking that I’ve a factory of Parachute, up there! The oil is there, so that I don’t run fingers through my hair every five seconds! And my cellphone? I give it to my 7-year-old sister so that I don’t text people or operate internet or make any phone calls! And damn, she’s strict. Such a Hitler didi, I tell you!
Now, I’ll tell you, what is kept in my room, abundantly! Fruits, water, chips, namkeen, mamra ( I don’t know, what you guys call it, so I’ll put a pic! ) , and all the stuff one HAS to chew endlessly, to finish it. This keeps me awake! And, bharpoor alarms, that I use, because I’m that hard to get up. And how can I forget my bowel kidney movements? As intake of water increases threefold, *ahem* going to the loo also increases! It’s such a pain in the ass. ( Don’t give me those looks, it’s Kalpak’s blog, so pooping and peeing are standard requirements! )…! Also, family members make it a point, to not paly/listen/see any kind of music. Yes, ANY kind! Because, durin exams my brain can catch on any song/jingle and play it on loop, for hours on the go! This may continue in exam hall as well. My brain becomes sensitive to any kind of music it gets to listen. I once sang “washing powder nirma!” for straight 20 hours and it wasn’t ready to leave my head!
Now, you guys know, what a lazy-ass, true-to-the-core-avoider/ignorer ( I know such words don’t exist, still… baat ko samjho! ) girl I am, when it comes to studying! *sigh*

This is me! :P








This is mamra! :D














15) Upasana:

I’m sure many of you have friends now who once were mere acquaintances. And by once, I mean long back. And then in between you didn’t even know where the other person was. Hell, you didn’t even remember their existence. And yet today you’re good friends.
This is exactly how Upasana and my story goes. Back when I was in eleventh and she was in twelfth, we had participated in a word play competition in the Malhaar festival of Xaviers College as a team. That was the last time I met her in person so far. Then we met on FB and on blogging, and that is how we got back in touch again.
She is an excellent writer, making poems out of the most mundane things at times. I have already said this about her before, and I repeat, her blog makes you think.
Her guest post is a small but sweet poem on me, the blogger.
Presenting the guest contribution by Upasana:
Horror-scopes to Harry potter,
His empty vessel makes a clatter,
Divinity and species on facebook,
All this with attention on his poop!
Uselessness and definitions galore,
Still you end up asking for more!


Miss Arunima Prakash here is yet another cute little blogger. Her blogging name, Dawnzhang, always interested me a lot. It sounded like a Chinese Kung-fu master’s name. Whenever I say her name, I smack my right fist against my left palm, bow down, and say ‘Dawnzhang’ in the Russel Peters Chinese accent.
I like your real name too, Arunima. However, in Gujarati it would mean ‘mother of Arun’.
Her post is about the don’ts and the absolutely don’t don’ts in a date
Presenting the guest contribution by Dawnzhang:
Dating problems? Ever had someone dump you because you are the crappiest date they ever had? Not to worry, this guide will guide you through your date and then HA, you are the best date a person can ever have!
1. I know, I know the food on the menu is yummy. I know you can't help but drool but please, please for the love of God, have self control! Order very little. Let the guy/girl know you are an average eater, not just any hungry animal.You can be all the hungry animal you want when you go alone.

2. Don't be Joey. That means "SHARE YOUR FOOD" if the situation demands it. I hate sharing my food *sheepish smile* but on dates, we haven't got another choice. The opposite sex always has to "finger" our fries. It's natural. Don't be angry, just smile, show those amazing set of teeth! 

3. Don't go on a date with a cold. The experience I had is still very fresh in my mind. It wasn't really a date but yeah, we were a group of friends and there was this cute guy among us, so I was mentally dating him. And lo, he sneezed. He sneezed on my plate and wiped his really petite nose with the back of his sleeve. Now, do you want to be that person? No? Good. Cancel the date. Please don't go with a cold. Take rest. 
4. Always, ALWAYS keep a safety excuse about anything you have to lie about. "Hello, why didn't you want to go out on Saturday? Why today?" Say you were ill. Say you had family emergencies. Please don't say "Well, you see, on Saturdays my friends Charlie, Rita and Patty have a threesome and so I go over to their place to watch it." And if that really is the case, I pity you. 

5. Please don't save seats for your imaginary friends. I know you like traveling with them but don't save seats for them. "Is someone coming there? Why have you saved a seat?" "Oh, don't you see Anita sitting there. Hey, Anita, you comfortable?" Please don't be that person.

6. Once you take home your date please don't show him/her the things you have named. I have a very bad habit of naming my stuff, so I have to be very careful not to call them with their names. "Is that a broom you've got there?" "Hey, Esmeralda isn't just any broom. She performs well." *wink wink*. Oh no, for the sweet love of God, NO!

7. Don't pester your date. Don't be a freak. "So should I call mom and tell her to fix the date for our marriage? How do you feel about the last day of November when both our stars collide in the outer space?" Tsk tsk, he/she will consider you pathetic and probably will be terrified. 

8. Don't, oh, please, don't stalk him/her. Don't go around and when you see him/her talking to another him/her don't jump in front of them and scream "HA! Gotcha!" 

9. And don't always keep smiling. Not good. Change that expression. Don't send them to hell and pass the sugar with the same smile on. Know our Lok Sabha speaker? Yeah, don't be her! Scowl, grin, pout, stick tongue out... yeah pretty much it. 
10. By now, you must be thinking I am pretty much of a mad person. Well, how can that help you? You ain't going on a date with me. So get that butt moving, go and dress up. Heaven knows your next date might be the best date you ever had! 

12) Peevee:

Priyanka Victor is yet another celebrity of the blogging world who has tripled the auspiciousness of this post by making her presence felt here.
She is one of the most frequent bloggers that I know of. It’s like every morning my blogger homepage is bound to have an update from the great PeeVee. And she is one of the few gifted writers who make reading about their day to day incidences fun.
One very pissing of thing happened when I asked her on FB on 18th about my guest para (19th was the deadline) and she said ‘What guest para?’ But then the post she sent has made up for it.
This is yet again an Amul Butter post for me, so please read it nicely. I actually had to read this post twice to understand whether she’s praising me or giving me an earful.
Presenting the guest contribution by Peevee:
Guess what, Kalpak has taken time off from talking about his thing experiences to let us talk about ours, experience that is:P
As a blogger first and then a human being, all I have to contribute to this space are a few pointers on blogging behavior:
1) Just because Kalpak wrote a post about Divinity, Facebook and his thing, it doesn’t mean that your thing will be that interesting. Find your niche and stick to it, rather than making a fool of yourself imitating others.
2) Just because Kalpak has ‘top commenters’ widget to spur people on doesn’t mean people will care about one on yours. It takes more than an active interest to get people to comment and copying ideas is as crappy as plagiarizing. Use YOUR brain to come up with YOUR idea.
3) Humor is not everyone’s cup of tea. While Kalpak might be able to get away with motivating us with ‘dreams’ of sleeping with him (for the sole reason of his sheer cheekiness), you try it and you might just get hit by an electric train that the offended sent.
4) Take a leaf out of Kalpak’s book and let the Madrasan be. It’s not necessary that you should harp on every single topic that trends on Twitter.
5) Keep your target audience in mind and write your posts. And I assure you that guys like Kalpak do NOT want to read how awesome your boyfriend is.They do NOT want to read how glittery your nail polish is. Both of these are to be avoided like the plague, unless it’s a once in a way post or an all girls’ audience that you want.
Last but not the least, unlike Kalpak, DO NOT insult Darlings of Venus or you might just find yourself the target of a underground conspiracy which works in ways similar to Ku Klux Klan.


I hate the fact that I have to write her post last, because she is one of the good friends I have made via blogging. But in a way it works out well, because people remember most what they see last.
This girl is my friend with benefit. As in befriending her has benefitted me. Because of her I got free vouchers of Fab India worth Rs. 1500 (BURN YOU BITCHES, BURN!!!)
This girl did something unique. She SMSed me her guest post. (That was my idea).
And then I realized giving that idea went against me. Because hers is the only post I have sat and typed, and not copy-pasted. But it was all worth it.
Presenting the guest contribution by Divya:
This is something I’d written quite some time back. I was at a point in my life where I had moved on from my past but I wasn’t worried about my future. I was living only in my present. It was an uncertain time but I was willing to take the risk. Things are not so uncertain now, but when I took out my diary and read this piece today, it brought back all those memories. Those days were magical. Even though I’m at a more certain place now, it I could, I would do it all over again.
Sunday. Maybe just another day for you. The best day of the week for me. A day of joy. A day of love. A day of companionship. A day that holds no promises but fulfills more than I could wish for. A day that begins as just a wish, a silent prayer, but ends as agreed for more. For more…more Sundays. More everydays like the Sunday. A gentle caress, a fiery kiss, a soft brush, a genuine hug. A thousand precious memories. The mere memory of it invokes a glint in my eyes, a smile on my lips, a desire to be held. To be held and comforted and pampered. I don’t know what it is or where it’s going, but it’s my source of joy for the moment. It could be just a passing moment, or it could be a joy forever. And that’s what it is. Beautiful. My Sunday. Our Sunday.
I don’t even know whether any of this makes sense to you guys, and I can’t explain it either. I guess it was a phase that I went through. I used to live for the Sundays. I used to live for the Sundays. ‘Our’ Sundays. Sometimes I wish we had remained in this ‘where is this going’ stage. It certainly was a magical time.

And thus ends this whole exercise of mine. I have kept all these guest contributions untouched, as they were sent. So any typos there are of the writer’s, not mine.
Actually if you think about it, these three posts of mine have been like the Deewangi song in Om Shaanti Om. All the who’s-who of the Blog world have honored me by giving their cameos here, for which I couldn’t be less thankful.
And I’m sure for most of you, these are all the bloggers who you regularly read and follow. Thus this is like your whole week’s blog reading quota put together.
One last time, a sincere thanks to all of you for bearing my constant pestering on FB and e-mail for one whole week and eventually sending me your guest paras. Thanks for making this a success.
Love all of you.

22 comments:

  1. @Dragon-RJ 3 mths!!!! OH OH OH!!!!! And the Fibonacci sonnet was good :)
    @Chandana- Hheheheheh u must must must never call her blog girly. It is a must to follow her blog!!!! and about the walking thing..heheheh I have noticed many under each categories!
    @Maithili- Dralings of penis??gahahahahah!And u too can start a humour blog. U can juggle all the blogs real fine I think! Lots of love!
    @Paanipuri Lover- Did u just call her a FAT ASS??? Howww dare u! That title belongs to ME! :P Exams and they way parents react to it..tch tch. I see my brother going thru it now. Hostel saved me :P
    @ Upasana- hehehehe liked those lines
    @Dawnzhang- heheh Kung Fu master! and arun ki ma! Kalpak writes the intros awesomely well!!! And the dating broom stick one made me laugh soooooo hard! Hhahahaha
    @PeeVee- heheheh she indeed brightened up this post!! :D..and I soo wished that she gave u an earful but it turns out be praises. Seriously I shud try the SLEEP WITH ME thing :P
    @Spaceman Spiff- I understand what yo were trying to say. Beautiful thoughts. Memories do hurt and secretly a lot!!! U want to give an end to the present situation but the memories of it as u live in the future might haunt like crazy!

    ReplyDelete
  2. At this moment, all I want to do is transform myself into an ostrich and bury my head in the sand. Sigh.

    *in a mechanic drone* All the "para"s here are awesome.

    *walks off to read my Transformations textbook.*

    ReplyDelete
  3. Wheee, there's my post. Loved everything here too. Esp Spiff's! :D Wow, exhausted, I am!
    :D

    ReplyDelete
  4. Am too exhausted to say anything yaar. All of those who have written here please forgive me for not complementing your writing. I am numb with awe. *Jaw hanging open*

    Kalpak, you could have made one post with each one of the contributions and got away for weeks together. But I guess you will miss the mention your standard dictionary of words in every post that you put up :P

    ReplyDelete
  5. Loved each and every post by the 'who's who of Bloggersville' :P :P

    ReplyDelete
  6. @DIGS..!!!!!!!!!!
    superrrrrrrr..!!! that was one brilliant piece..!!
    cheers !!

    @Chandana..what an observation my girl..!!!
    masttt!
    cheers !!

    @Maithzz..aaah..now thats what i call talent..creating something outta nothing..!!
    nice read..:)
    cheers !!

    @Paaaaaniiipuuuriii..!! i still don't know why i like to yell your name like that :P
    that was such a cuteeeeeeeeee post gurlll..!!!
    mwaahs..:):)
    cheers !!

    @Upasana...what creativity..!!
    cheers!!

    @DawnZhang..heeeeeeeeeeeeee...what tips u gave out there..!!! niiiiice ^_^
    cheers !!

    @PeeVee..Aaahaaaan....now thats some advice eh..;););)
    likey likey..!!
    cheers !!

    @Spaceman...awwwwwwwwww...it actually did make sense you know...touching..:) memories..hmmm...
    siighhh..ok now m not making any sense i know :D
    cheers !!

    @KP....hmmmmmmmmmmm..so now you know i am not one of those bloodyyyyyyy people who will just read their para and their intro and gloat and leave
    :D:D:D:D
    and you better make the change i told you soon..
    how dare you miss some lines from my post
    grrrrrrrrrr..!@#@#$@#$@@#!@
    *mouthing something incoherent to you in kannada*
    you half brained coconut :P:P:P:P

    massssttttt compilation jaaneman ^_^
    lots of louuuuuuu..!!
    chal tu bhi kya yaad rakhega..!!

    cheers !!!

    ReplyDelete
  7. OK...first of all when you gave me the offer to select where my post could come up I should have jumped at it poopy...this WTF I was thinking thingy is soo blaaady huge, mere screen pe ek hi post ek baari aata hai!!! Anyways me first here...yes yes I'm a girly girl too apart from being a hot chick :P...and oh 'titanium balls' to you for thinking women are stupid...tera bhi expiry date nazdeek aa raha hai be!!!

    Thanks for the intro Kallu...I love you too...muah...and there is no fucking southie accent you racist!!! I hope this special fraaaaaaaaaanship lasts (mera track record to tujko maloom hai :() and I have an angelic voice? You heard it through all that coughing and swearing !!! Cheers to more phone calls, flirting and name callings :P.

    @Red: Actually I wrote this only cause poopy was literally hounding me every single minute...I also happened to do the mistake of giving him my cell number...so torture unlimited you know...composed some crap in 10 minutes and mailed it but I was secretly hoping he'd reject it. He liked it, you and meow liked...DON'T encourage substandard bullshit people...it's not good OK (*wink wink*)...and yeah RJ during my summer break and a darn good one at it mind you :P

    @Chan: I've never asked you:do you mind me calling you this? Cause I hate it when people make me 'Pri'. I fall in the 3rd category you know...I'm world-famous in the locality park for singing Himesh Reshamiya's 'OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuunnnnn' part without giving 2 hoots about the scandalized aunty looks or the 'your-good-for-nothing' uncle looks. It's an amazing stress buster dear, you should try it...plus the scandalized looks you get after that are totally worth it ;) :0.

    @Maith: You've always mazed me. How the hell do you have this much maturity at 19 girl? Pass some to this poopy also na...him and his obession with this 'thing' might benefit :P...I loved your post/para a lot. It laid down a fact:we have all become tight arses!!! We can neither laugh at our ownselves nor at others anymore. This coming from me after my latest post is a big thing!!! I don't if I could smile at the freaks around me but sometimes I've even tried that. It pisses them off to no end and I do it only for that sadistic pleasure. And I think bonobos have sex for pleasure too.

    @Paanipuri Lover:Such a cute-honest to heart post :D..BTW girl I'm still to land on your blog. COuldn't get there from your blog, will try to reach from Kallu's plug-ins.

    @Upasana: The attention is equally distributed on his 'poop' and 'thing' you know ;)

    @Dawnzhang: Now I'm curious, what does the name mean? And in the guidelines, I'm the bhukkad and I will never ever share my food...when I have a cold, I'm told I sound super sexy so no check to first 3 points the rest check-check.

    @PV: Darling...where art thou...miss you :(...And kallu I'm gonna take that as bashings for you no praises OK.

    @Divs: I'm still caught up with this line "Sometimes I wish we had remained in this ‘where is this going’ stage. It certainly was a magical time." I can so identify with this. I used to have these majical Friday coffee moments with somebody special...sigh sigh sigh.

    @Meow: Darling I hope I beat you with this for the length of the comment...

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  9. You better listen to Red's advice Kalpak!
    Anyway you just *might* have avoided yourself a very gruesome murder(thanks to the intro abt me)
    Not that I care abt people judging me or my blog! I like being the surprise package that I am :D
    @Priyanka-
    Awesome! Too good! Loved it :D
    @Maithili-
    I personally prefer humor blogs over any other type..! And yes you can totally start your own humor blog! That would be what.. your 5th or 6th blog? :P
    @Khushboo-
    haha. so cute! I am glad I am done with exams for the rest of my life.. hopefully!
    @Upasana-
    I almost missed your para in this jungle of long-ass posts! But I think its the best of all! Perfect description!
    @Arunima-
    LOL! Good one!
    @PeeVee-
    #4 is soooo true! Its like they have no mind of their own. They only wait to pounce on the so called next 'it' topic. Gah! Annoying!
    @Divya-
    I can completely relate to this. As stupid as it might sound there are situations when you feel uncertainty is better than knowing for certain that its over.

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  10. @All: As it turns out, it was not the end.. It was the beginning of something special.. But even so, I miss those days. :)

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  11. @priyanka: nice post. i just found out about Fibonacci sonnet.

    @Chandana: i'm afraid i am a mixture of the singer/dog chaser and the forever walker(since i currently freelance from home and vela mostly. :P)

    have yet to read the rest. phew! brb!

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  12. @Dragon,
    That was soooooooooooo amazing that it left me speechless!
    My god, this is talent-to write what is actually specified-a para and a brilliant one that is almost like art in words*respect. My hot lady*:-)


    @Chandana,
    Waah waah...someone’s been decoding walking styles...reminds me of my own observations in a similar post a long while ago! I have so come across most varieties and wonder if there are saner walkers like me or are the others judging me too while I do of them;-)


    @Maiths,
    You so hit the nail...and since I am following you already, can’t really do it again! I believe laughter is all that makes all the struggles and hum drum worth it-I hate posting sad or serious posts coz I feel after saara life ka stress, this is not what we want to read-and yes, observation is the key!:-)


    @Paanipuri Lover,
    Reallyyyy washing powder Nirma?????!!!!
    I hope that after all that emergency types ka declaration you are able to study and do us proud:-)
    And pain in the ass sounds just as fine-in or outside Kalpak’s blog:-)

    @PeeVee,
    Hilarious-the man had quite a loyal following:-)

    And it was just as much fun reading Dawnzhang and Spaceman Spiff, whom I have not really read before! The idea is rocking Kalpak and so are you!:-)

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  13. @DIGS- I can't believe the way you wrote it. Makes so much sense. A few words, great impact. Loved it :)

    @Chandana- Omg that was one HILARIOUS POST... I was gigglinng throughout. Well I did get hit once by those arm-shooting ppl..crazy uncle.. :( :P .. Hahah I'm still sane :D

    @Maithili- So true! But I laugh at myself. Its fun and normal too, right? I mean I may not write humor posts, but yes I laugh and I laugh like a hyena, umm (not look like one though) :P .. Nice post :)

    @Paanipuri Lover- heheh awww Pooping had to come na.. chya :P .. Oh ans scissor ko fukkat haath mat laga, looks emo :D .. ahemm n I see u watch tv too much (hitler didi) :P .. Don't you point ur finger back at me ;)... Cute read.. and ur under 18.. didn't u know Kalpak's blog is adult wala content.. shya kids these days na :P

    @Upasana- those six lines just say it all.. :)

    @Arunima- heheh I loved the gotcha and broom wala part..made me LOL .. well-written re.. full on :D

    @PeeVee- Oii eggjactly what I thought.. Some people can't be funny and they try too hard.. So forced and stupid! But give em some mercy :P ..

    @Divya- Sometimes you don't need to make sense.. and we understand! the feelings with which you wrote this is felt..really..I love it :)

    @Kalpak- Because of your guest post, I gotta read some amazing posts and thank you for that.. Super time tha.. Itna sooper k my mom thought I'd contracted some disease...She kept asking me why are you staring at the same screen without blinking :P .. U get it right? But tis was mast! :)

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